8 rebellious New Year resolutions
What’s your New Year resolution? Are you determined to stop picking your nose / being hopelessly drunk / spending your hard earned cash on useless kipple? Fair enough. But what about the business side of life?
Search Google and you’ll find a host of posts about New Year resolutions for small business owners. But they’re all so depressingly earnest, about as interesting and inspirational as watching magnolia paint dry.
There’s nothing worse than giving your poor old self a hard time. Especially when you’re feeling delicate, having spent the entire festive season completely spanked. Here are some fun resolutions instead.
Stash a bottle of your favourite tipple in your desk drawer and take a well-earned slug every time someone irritates you. Get competitive with fellow business owners: exactly how irritated/drunk can you get during the course of a single day?
Stuff the diet for a month. Spend the whole of January eating sweets, biccies and cake all day, scattering your keyboard and desk with a dense layer of yummy crumbs. By February you’ll be so bilious you’ll be screaming for fresh fruit and veg. You might even decide you adore Brussels sprouts. Stranger things have happened.
Save money, time, hassle and your sanity: make plans to sack clients who are too high maintenance for comfort. Instead of putting up and shutting up, send them on their merry way to drive some other poor mug nuts in 2013.
Leave your office in its habitual state of chaos until you feel a totally irresistible urge to clear up. It might look like the wreck of the Hesperus but at least you’re happy and relaxed.
Resolve to step away from your desk by 5.30pm every day instead of working late with tedious regularity. The world won’t end without you.
Is that a light at the end of the tunnel? Or some bugger with a torch bringing more work? Accept the projects you like the look of, turn down anything that makes your heart sink and you’ll find your business life is much nicer and sunnier.
Buy a laptop and take your work outdoors whenever you can. There’s free WiFi all over town, including on the beach between the piers, and you’ll feel cool and cosmopolitan joining the trendies who spend the working day in sociable places instead of staring at grey office walls.
Ditch your boring business network and treat yourself to an evening at the Brighton Business Curry Club instead. Do the maths: curry plus drinks plus convivial company minus being forced to blow your trumpet with cringeworthy verve equals a much more pleasurable way to make friends and influence people.